How I got here

So, I've documented in great deal how I'm going to, or least how I plan to, get there, I just haven't really said a lot about how I got here, or why.

Earlier this year I found myself bored, really, really bored. I wasn't really satisfied at work and it made me question why and what I was going to do about it. I think I had got to the point where I needed to do something a little more than look for a new job, basically invigorating myself a bit. So, after speaking to my housemate about her travels, she happened to mention her Raleigh expedition to Belize in 2001. After hearing about the trip, I was inspired and was a bit put out to find out venturers are between the ages of 17 and 24. After looking into a bit, just out of curiosity at this point, I saw I could go on a career break so I got in touch with Raleigh to find out some details.

After speaking to people at Raleigh, they invited me to apply. After applying, I was invited to the next stage which was the assessment weekend. This was a two day event at a scout centre in East Surrey, aimed to test our leadership skills, as well as our ability to muck in, and our general personality fit. We were told what time to be there, a minimal kit list and that was about it.

I arrived there at 9am on a very wet and miserable Saturday morning. Being a bit crap, I didn't own anything particularly warm, practical or waterproof. Having cobbled together what I could from friends and family I was kitted out in some waterproof trousers, hiking boots, and something resembling a proper coat (this was a combination of a crappy fleece and a crappy mac in a sac). At this point, I felt my equipment and childhood experiences in the guides and the Duke of Edinburgh award meant I was pretty hard and would be able to tackle anything. I was borderline smug.

After a couple of coffees and a meet and greet with Raleigh staff, we were split into three groups of about 9 people. Each group was assigned to a leader and a couple of assessors who would be taking us through the weekend's activities and then deciding if we were suitable for Raleigh, and if so, what we'd end up doing and where. On first impressions, my group seemed like a lovely bunch of folk, however I was a little concerned it would be a case of 'too many cooks' as there was a lot of over enthusiastic chatter and not a lot of listening, which does not a cohesive team make.

We did thew usual and predictable introduction and ice breaking exercises, which were a little cringe worthy, but it was interesting to find out more about my group. I was impressed about how diverse we were, and also the different motives people had for joining an expedition. I became a bit insecure about what I had to offer, but I figured that if I wasn't good enough, I wasn't good enough and there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.

After a bit if map reading and trekking for an hour we arrived at a lake for a 'river crossing'. When I originally heard this was our next activity I assumed we'd be building some kind of raft but, no, no raft. We were wading through the lake in groups of three which is quite a common and necessary activity on an expedition. We were also advised that as we were carrying all our kit with us all day, the less wet clothes we had with us the better, so I then found myself in my underwear and a life jacket (not the most practical sort I may add!) with 11 strangers. Bearing in mind it was was very wet, and very cold, this was a very unpleasant introduction to the week. I felt like I winded myself after sliding down the muddy banks into the very, very cold water - quite the shock to the system. After wading in the icy, murky lake up to our necks we made it to the other side feeling pretty invigorated as clambered out. It was about 8 degrees outside, and our blood was pumping full throttle.

Some of us had heard rumours that they didn't actually make you sleep outside (despite asking you to bring tents). We heard that they'd test you to the point of making you think you were sleeping outside, but they wouldn't make you do it. I'm no stranger to camping but it was November, and this point it was chucking it down with rain, and we'd only been asked to bring sleeping bags which was hardly sufficient for the conditions. We walked to a clearing in the woods and were given two tarpaulins, a rope, and told to set up a shelter. Again, we had a too many cooks but eventually, we cobbled together something that could fit us all in and allegedly protect us enough from the elements, should we need to use it.

At this point we had some lunch, and then headed back to the main building for some radio exercises. All communications in country is done via radio, so this was to help us grasp basic signals, radio etiquette and how to speak clearly. Alongside this training, our group needed to prepare a presentation on one of Raleigh's countries (coincidentally Borneo!) and prepare food for some of the others. After this, we did some more getting to know and 3 minute presentations on our life stories (cue a lot of emotion, I think we were a bit tired).

After a few hours of this, all the groups congregated for a de brief on their day, and perform their presentations. It was sweet, but a little weird to see how each of the groups had bonded and formed their own little in joke! After this respite form the elements, we were give co-ordinated and told to go pitch up our tents, and cook our dinners. We'd been given a bag containing pasta, tinned tomatoes, some packets of 'bean feast' and a few veggies and I placed myself in charge of cooking (as I'm a control freak). It had been raining the entire day but at this point, probably 8/9pm the heavens really opened and it poured. While the rest of my group pitched tents in the down pour i tried to shelter our stoves as best as I could from the elements. None of us could really see what we were doing and at this point it got really quite miserable. After two hours of cooking we finally had something approaching edible, so dished up our pasta/beanfest/rain water mix and ate huddled in a group.

I can't really describe how wet it was at this point, and how cold. Despite my several layers of clothing I could tell my skin was wet and I was very very cold.At this point my whole group knew all their stuff was soaked and morale was low. We started playing games, naming a line from a film and then guessing it, but it wasn't working so well. At about 11 our group leaders came out to have a bit of a chat with us (yet MORE tell me how you're all feeling exercises) and then we were told we could come down to the main building for hot chocolate.

After 15 minutes of thinking that was it, the day was over, we got a fake emergency call on the radio, and we had to go back into the rain and unpack our tents and moce to another location. We got our tents down, regrouped, and then started our night hike. I was really proud of our group as there was a lot of smiling and laughter despite the yawning and the shivering. We had to take a detour as the stream we tried to cross, and failed (with some members falling in!), was flooded so this added at least 30 more minutes to our walk. We finally got to apoint where we were told our breakfast was waiting for us to find, which we eventually did only to discover they were mars bars instead, and then we were taken back to our camp from earlier in the day and said, it was over, we would sleep now, at 2:30am.

We had a choice between our shelter and our tents, but most of us decided to squeeze into the shelter as we were told the more of us there were the warmer we'd be. This turned out to be somewhat of a mistake as it was very cold, our groundsheet had got a bit wet during the day, and we weren't as protected from the elements as we throught. After about 2 hours of convulsing (it had gone beyond shivering) a groups of us ended up huddling for body warmth and managed a good hour and a half of sleep before waking up to go back to the main building.

The next day was a comparative walk in the park. We ate some breakfast, had a lot of coffee and had a Q&A session on raleigh. I was amazed to see everyone, including myself, fairly bright eyed and still excited about the prospect of going on the expedition. We had heard stories from our group leaders over the weekend and I think most people had made up their minds that they wanted in as not a single negative was mentioned We were then lead out on another hike, but this turned out to be a first aid exercise where a few of our group were in on the act, and started playing casualties while the rest of us looked after them. Againm they were trying to test how we thought on our feet and our ability ti get on with things and work as a team. We carried our casualties back to the HQ and were told that there, and then it was now over. Our group leaders had told us we were one of the best groups they'd seen, and gave us an assessment of each of our leadership skills. It seemed strange to remember during this whole thing we had been assessed! We were rewarded with a huge plate of curry and told if we were successful we would hear within two weeks. We hugged each member of our groups good bye and after wishing everyone luck, went our separate ways. It seemed very strange indeed that I wouldn't be seeing these people again as it was quite the bonding experience.

I managed to fall asleep on both my trains home, and then again for 15 hours once I finally got back to my own bed. I felt completely exhausted but at the same time pretty inspired and excited. It had been a long time since I was so physically active while engaging my brain. I felt tested, and challenged and I like it.

Out of the blue on the Tuesday morning I got an email for the project manager post in Borneo and accepted immediately. I think the assessment weekend was a taster of pushing myself and succeeding under pressure, so I am incredibly excited to see what the expedition makes of me!